Traffic fines a driving force of modern society Author: Scott McCormick Date: 19/05/2006 Publication: Sydney Morning Herald
PARKING tickets are terrible things. Right up there with industrial relations reform in the popularity stakes, it's fair to say the parking ticket is proof that it's not just the Federal Government trying to screw us.
The very existence of today's exorbitant fines highlights how frustratingly wonderful it is to live in a city which proudly owns 3 million cars but, at last count, had only 15 spaces to put them in. It seems we dedicated fine collectors are dutifully taking the advice handed down by the State Government.
"Give us all your money," we've heard them yell through the stockings on their heads, all the while ignoring the more subtle hint to "trade in your cars and catch a bus to avoid fines".
I am bright enough to figure out that a sudden withdrawal of my regular donations could cripple a state budget already at breaking point. In this case our bus service would be the first thing to hemorrhage. This could force people to walk, and I've been told my generation is far too lazy for that.
Our masters in State Parliament aren't imposing massive fines just to screw us. I believe some are merely trying to avoid the embarrassing possibility of NSW going completely bankrupt on their shift.
This surely means that far from being outlaws, dedicated parking fine collectors such as myself should be embraced for making a wonderful contribution to society. Surely the frustration I cause my fellow block circlers by slightly overstaying my welcome in a 15-minute space is dwarfed by my generous gestures of compensation.
I don't suggest Rotary organise a chook raffle on my behalf, but praise of some sort certainly wouldn't go astray. Perhaps a tenth-fine-free loyalty card would be a good start. My new hobby is simply becoming unaffordable.
With this in mind, and with the modern-day emphasis on the term reform, it seems only fair our fines be reformed too. The gap between rich and poor is widening and indexing infringements to one's income has always sounded like a good idea to me.
Realistically this will never happen, though. Exactly what group of wealthy sadists are ever going to make campaign contributions to a party that intends to persecute them even further?
Besides, everyone knows Aston Martins aren't cheap to run, and a fair infringement system only works in those backward Scandinavian countries with high standards of living and relatively low crime rates. Alas, I'm resigned to the fact that I will continue to serve my community at a level above and beyond the call of duty.
Fellow fine collectors, put your hands back in your wallets and hold your heads up high, because the spirit of Aussie self-sacrifice didn't end at Gallipoli, Tobruk or Long Tan.
If you're still doing your head in over parking fines, remember this: loathe them or loathe them, parking fines will always be a government's favourite stopgap, and they'll be mocking mankind long after you depart.
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